Off-Brand, Google Android OS, Kindle-like Tablet PC review.

So here I am, sitting on my huge front porch, slowly thumbing out this new column with my mother's off-brand tablet PC.

Of course, my mother -- hogging a nice HP Pavillion-- tilts the tablet "Card board edition" and magically changes the screen to operate vertically, thus advancing my pace, twofold.

Hang on, time to unexpectedly brush my teeth...

... Okay. Now instead of my mouth tasting like Pizza and Ranch Dorito-flavored scunge, it tastes like Pizza and Ranch Dorito-flavored scunge(With mint!)

If I were a smoker, it would taste like a compilation of mint, dorito scunge and the Colonel's own original recipe --'leven heeerrbs 'n' spices-- chicken-flavored ash.

Yum, delicious cherry Capri Sun, that I'm terrified to open, because it's been in an ice less cooler, with water at the bottom, condensing for Darth Vader only knows how long.

And now I can continue --attempt-- to write, after finally figuring out how to scroll on this wretchedly confusing contraption.

Bad sign: Skimmed thumb opening the straw wrapper. Tastes("Tates" according to Word to Go's keyboard for the tech-trendy sloth.) fine, albeit warm.

My review: Spring for the actual Kindle; it's faster, less confusing, and "only" a "few" hundred more dollars.